Jody won Idols in December 2007. Since then she has been at home with her parents, and has performed at Muizenberg High School and Canal Walk Shopping Centre. Jody's song is played on stations in Mpumalanga.

Randall is the grumpy, crotchety nay-sayer. You must know this, even if you've only seen the show once. He gets cross when singers screw up songs, and never just lets it go. He takes it personally and dishes it out personally as well. There is no middle ground. Having said that, Randall has a wicked sense of humour and tells filthy jokes. He can also party up a storm.

 Randall is currently busy knifing pensioners and desecrating churches, but has assured me that he looks forward to Idols V. It is the only meaningful employment he has had since 1999.

Mara is the kind and caring mother on the panel. Apart from the odd fanatical outburst or spontaneous tantrum, Mara is sweet and nurturing. She takes singing very seriously and is obsessed with peeeeeetch – which apparently has something to do with which notes fit where on the scale. She performs at theatres, concerts and cabarets.

Mara spent all of 2007 belting out high notes at Gold Reef City in the musical Hairspray and is looking forward to picking fights with some segment of the population without even realising that she has.

Dave is the wise old sage and cynical music industry pro. Regardless of his complete lack of style (he would confess to this himself), Dave is actually very caring, kind and considerate to the contestants – well, maybe from the Top 5 show on… Dave has two kids and they judge him all the time, so don’t think he’s mean on Idols. Dave supports Manchester United, but isn’t Indian.

Dave is the Marketing boss at Sony BMG, a record company that exploits many great artists.

Colin Moss used to be the host of the show. He likes wearing women’s underwear and is obsessed with timepieces and his own grooming. Colin is surrounded by a permanent force of female admirers wherever he goes. He loves none of them so much as he loves his old Mustang.

 Since Idols IV ended, Colin has been converted into a Ken-doll and is selling like hot-cakes. Lucky for him, he's too much in demand among snuf-film directors to be able to parttake in Idols V